There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
