he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
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