So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
