Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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