A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
