I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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