So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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