her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
