I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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