I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
