don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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