got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
