Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Oh god it's open bar.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
