this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
