I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
