the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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