i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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