i always forget guys have bellybuttons
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
