your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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