Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
BRING THE BAGELS
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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