anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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