I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
