If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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