Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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