im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
