What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I need to stop coming to work sober
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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