I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm passing your future prison.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
