I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
