her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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