Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
