I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
