I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize