I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
