just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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