I wanna passion pit in your ass
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
