i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
