I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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