Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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