all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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