Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
My life is pants optional.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
