I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
