I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Randomize