Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
