if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
