im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
He passed out mid-signature
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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