My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
