I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
