I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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