I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
