i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i just google imaged poop.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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