can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize