I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
