so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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