i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize