So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Boobs are out for the taking
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
