Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
