I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
