its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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