fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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