Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize