How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
It's never too late to be topless.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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