i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
